He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
