yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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