jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
