I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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