hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
