I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
