$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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