HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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