I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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