I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
