I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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