HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
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Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
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You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him