I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls