Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
