I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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