she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
