Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
