he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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