imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
