only if we run a train.
done.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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