I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
