someone threw a dead crab at me
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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