she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
