I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
