I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
