Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Is Oprah even human
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
