id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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