Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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