honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
