Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
