Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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