You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
literally had 100 drinks last night.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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