we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize