so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
