it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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