I should be sponsored by Trojan
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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