Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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