Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
