he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
