Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
