i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
