shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
