Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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