I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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