who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize