I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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