Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
