her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
