the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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