She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
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literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
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I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts