you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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