went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize