what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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