Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
