Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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