I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
