I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
