yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
How external is "for external use only"?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
