so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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