something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
