yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
