i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
