i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
