dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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